Obstacles are those things you see when you take your eyes off the goal!

I was only planning on blogging about once a week and updating the world on whats going on in my weight loss journey or what has already happened. However, I felt like I should blog today to show that I am, indeed, not a super human who works out all the time and that sometimes I just have to sit back and say enough.
   This morning, after dropping Erich off at work, I came home and cleaned our home and scrubbed the spots on the carpet where my 2 year old potty trained dog has decided to pee. I'm not sure if this is a recreational activity for her while we are gone or if she is actually terrified to be alone. Anyway, if you know me you know I am a pretty clean person and once I start cleaning one thing I cant stop and I just keep going and going until there is nothing really left to clean. Its a problem I have and that is probably for another blog another time. =) Anyway, after cleaning I started to feel pretty sick to my stomach so I had a bowl of Special K thinking I was just hungry since I hadn't eaten breakfast yet. Well, that definitely didn't help matters and made me feel worse.
   I pushed myself to get on my bike and try to ride but about 2 minutes into my ride I started to feel light headed and hot and even sicker. So, I laid down on the bed and took a 2 hour nap. Waking up I didn't feel great but I had to pick Erich up from work. I struggled to get myself and my three year old out the door while fighting my amazon of a dog who pisses everywhere; she also has a problem with wanting to race you out the door when you are leaving and seems to know the right times (when your hands are full).
   Anyway, I came home and laid down with Erich on the couch and watch a few movies on Netflix and started to feel worse. I chalked my laziness and sickness to I hadn't had my pot of coffee for the day. I have a major coffee problem and should probably go to rehab for it. Well, the coffee didn't help and I found myself getting sicker and sicker. So, after this long story, I decided not to exercise tonight and that I am just going to skip my "cheat day" on Sunday. I did chose to eat a little better today when I did eat. I made homemade chicken and veggie soup for dinner with loads of home made broth in it. Very yummy and very healthy. Hopefully this stays down.

"A year from now, you may wish you started today!"

     Okay, so I am on month number 6 now of my weight loss and I cant help but think "What If?". What if I didnt get lazy and stop exercising and eating healthy those few times, how skinny would I be now? Would I be at my goal weight or maybe even have lost more? What if I added the second work out of my day back when I started? What if I started this 10 years ago, would I have stayed fit and skinny and would I have been able to keep up with it? I have 19 pounds left until I reach my goal of being healthy and fit and about 29 pounds to reach the ultimate weight goal I have set for myself. Its not really that far considering I have come 40 pounds since I started. Even that blows my mind.. to think, I will have lost 70 pounds by the time I hit my goal. The act of doing it hasnt really been that hard, just keeping on track and motivated at times has. 

      I have gone through my moments of laziness and I dont know if that relates to depression or the fat girl in me. A couple months ago I took matters into my own hands (again and in a different way) and tried to get to the bottom of it. I was sick of laying on the couch and sleeping all the time and being cranky and moody. I knew working out would make me feel better and happier but I just couldnt get myself to the gym. It hurt to move or to even think about the gym. I even have a road bike set up on a trainer in my room and I couldnt even get my lazy ass on that! So, I went to the doctor and asked for help. I was put on and anti-depressant to help for the anxiety, stress, and depression I was having that was keeping me from life. (I will talk more about my journey with stress and depression in a later blog).

     Long story short though, I was able to get back on the tred-mill and bike again and start losing weight. Its been difficult but I am able to keep at it and not stop. I work out every-day no matter what, except for Sundays. People talk about cheat days and Sunday's have been selected as mine. However, I dont pig out and go crazy and lounge around in pj's all day. I have a choice... I chose to either eat one unhealthy snack and enjoy it but I have to exercise later that day, or I chose to eat healthy all day and skip my exercise for the day. So far its working. I am sick of wondering "What If". I dont want to wonder in 6 months from now how skinny or how in shape I COULD'VE been. I want to see the results!